When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
