Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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