so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
