What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
