I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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