no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
