ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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