I cockslap morals
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
