dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Rumble strips road head = magical
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
