you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
