You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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