just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Houston, we have a squirter
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
