he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
