okay pat passed out under dana's car
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
