Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm sobbing to NWA
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
