My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
