Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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