Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
