I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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