I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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