I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
