omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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