Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
