her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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