I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
