You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
