He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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