Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
