never play flip cup with pint glasses
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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