Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
