so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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