I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
