Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
