I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
