I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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