oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
