god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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