Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
