Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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