my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
