Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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