if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
