Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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