I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
