$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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