my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
