And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
