whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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