you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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