she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So much rum. So many feels.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
