She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
